Monday, 31 October 2011

A Sad Tale

Not a horsey post this time.

Saturday was a very sad day for me.  I had been having problems at home for some time and had decided some time ago that there was no future for me and my husband together.  Things had gone badly wrong and I only realised just how bad they were about a year ago.  I talked to my children (aged 21 and 17) and they understood why I had come to the conclusion that I had to leave.  My son was, at that time, planning to leave home to rent with some mates anyway which was a weight off my mind.  My daughter would come with me to live with my mother (who was just in the process of selling her 4 bed house to downsize to a bungalow - bad timing!).

Due to my mother's move, it was not possible for me and my daughter to move straight in so we had to hang it out at home.  In this time my son's mates dropped out of the plans to house share and so he had nowhere to go.  The bottom has complete dropped out of the housing market so we were not able to sell our house.  Result: my son doesn't want to move out, my husband can't afford to move out and I am left with no choice but to move in with my mum on my own.

So here I am - on my own - having done the one thing I always said I would never do ...leave my children.

I know they understand, I'm sure they understand, well, if they don't now then I hope they will come to understand eventually.

My husband had not worked properly for over 3 years.  He was a childminder (because he didn't want to be an "employee") and allowed his intake of children to dwindle down to one before and after school.  Before that he could never manage to earn more than I did and I'm only an administrator so hardly a high flyer.  He totally resents the horses and the time I spend at the farm and expects me to come home from a full day's work and doing the horses and still do the housework and walk the dog while he stretches out on the sofa watching tv or sleeping the day away.  The house is going to rack and ruin and needs so much money spent on it.  I had to get out while my sanity was intact.

I will see my daughter every day when we do the horses but oh my God, how I miss both of them and its only been three days ...


  1. Hey Jooles this is Sam from Haynet.. Sad to read your post but it sounds to me to have done the right thing however tough the decision is... I have two teenage boys so can understand an element of how you are feeling. Stay strong and keep posting - it's good I feel to write this all down. When your life (and it will) takes a turn for the better from now on, it will be humbling to read back on. X

  2. Thank you Samihob, I do find it therapeutic to write down these thoughts. Hopefully in the future I can look back and see how much things have improved.

  3. Jooles - I am sorry to read this. Tough decision. Hope things start looking brighter soon.